Sometimes, copying out of a resume book is just obvious. It is impossible for this individual to have held all of these concurrent positions, and if he did, I’d check his urine for signs of uppers.

Brief overview: In a matter of 5 years this person managed to hold all of these jobs in all of these places – Public Information Writer (California), Nursing Assistant II (CA), Substitute Teacher (CA), Article Writer (CA), Anesthesia Technician (Chicago, IL), Law School Student (Chicago) Quality Assurance Technician (CA), Quality Assistant (CA).

Full resume after the jump.

Michael #######
9965 ######## Court
#######, CA #####
(###)-###-####
########@gmail.com

EDUCATION
University of California, Santa Barbara (UCSB), Santa Barbara, CA
Bachelor of Science in Biopsychology, December 2003
Bachelor of Arts in English, December 2003
GPA-3.88

EXPERIENCE

City of Oxnard, Oxnard, CA
Public Information Writer, October 2008- Present
• Worked with graphic artist to create Mayor’s 2009 State of the City Presentation and scripted talking points.
• Currently collaborating with graphic designer and web developer to redesign portions of the City’s website to increase interactivity and ease of public use.
• Assisted in creating and submitting several Federal Stimulus Grant applications for 2009.
• Create informational pamphlets, articles, and web content for public and internal use.
• Write talking points for Council Members and City Manager for public presentations.

Ventura County Medical Center, Ventura, CA
Nursing Assistant II, October 2008- January 2009 (concurrent with present job)
• Assisted in set-up of operating rooms for surgery and sterilized surgical equipment.
• Coordinated as a team with nurses and doctors to assist in patient care.
• Transported patients and delivered biological samples to lab.
• Maintained stockroom and ordered surgical supplies.

Ventura Unified School District, Ventura, CA
Substitute Teacher, January 2008- Present (concurrent with present job)
• Substituted for instructors, grades kindergarten through twelve.

Ventura Breeze Newspaper, Ventura, CA
Article Writer, March 2008- October 2008
• Interviewed local personalities and generated over forty human interest pieces.
• Attended area events and composed informative articles.
• Anticipated interest of area residents and followed-up on news stories geared toward these issues.

Northwestern Memorial Hospital, Chicago, IL
Anesthesia Technician, March 2007-December 2007
• Assisted Anesthesiologists in clinical care of patients.
• Maintained, troubleshot, and operated anesthesia machines and equipment.
• Cleaned and stock operating rooms in preparation for surgery.
• Provided support in emergency cases via on-call responsibilities.

Northwestern University Law School, Chicago, IL
Law School Student, August 2006-Febuary 2007
• Studied and critically evaluated cases and court documents and participated in classroom discussions utilizing the “Socratic Method.”
• Utilized LexisNexis and Westlaw to research and write briefs and memos.
• Collaboratively worked with classmates to generate solutions to mock-legal problems.

Volt @ Leiner Health, Valencia, CA
Quality Assurance Specialist, October 2005-May 2006
• Inspected and evaluated product for compliance with FDA standards.
• Reviewed manufacturing records for compliance with government standards.
• Assisted in inspection of factory conditions and warehouse facility for safety, cleanliness of work environment, and compliance with
manufacturing procedures.
• Tracked and coordinated testing of finished product and raw materials.
• Worked with government and internal inspectors to improve factory practices.

Kelly Scientific @ Baxter, Westlake Village, CA
Quality Associate, January 2005-June 2005
• Worked with various Quality Assurance, Product Stability, and Information Technology personnel to ensure that test result data was entered appropriately into a specialized computer database.
• Reviewed laboratory data for correctness and compliance with manufacturing requirements.

Kelly Scientific @ Pharmavite, San Fernando, CA
QA Assistant, August 2004-November 2004
• Handled customer complaints related to product (vitamins), and reduced average response time of customer complaints from over ten months to less than two weeks.
• Performed laboratory tests on product and kept detailed records of results.
• Researched and documented quality assurance concerns in manufacturing and wrote reports.
• Organized and maintained the stockroom.