Recently, in my travels across the World Wide Web, I came across a powerful organization of cast-off media moguls offering their tongue-in-cheek take on pop culture and media news: The American Society of Shitcanned Media Elites (aka ASSME, heh).

They’re much better at what they do. They have a fancy logo and T-shirts and a full staff of contributors and regularly updated content and, *gasp*, banner ads. We can’t even get our asses out of bed to update this site anymore. Plus, they host fun events where you get drunk for the small price of a piece of shitty PR swag.

Do you know how many pieces of shitty PR swag I have cluttering my apartment!?

One particular entry, written by former Jossip editor Drew Grant as a schedule of her typical day, really captures the quintessence of unemployment/”working” from home:

11 a.m.-2: Go to the bathroom, but only because I really have to pee. Bring computer in with me so I can recheck Facebook status updates and see if my friend from middle school is having fun being a PR exec for a liquor company. Gee, that sure sounds like fun…probably sucks though. Heat up some old pasta, get sick of waiting for the microwave to nuke and eat it half cold. Consider brushing my teeth but figure, day is half over anyway. Will brush once I smoke a cigarette. Get back in bed and blog some more.

Ugh, it really is a great way to live!