Alright, folks – it’s been quite a while and I can’t say that not blogging has done anything good for my life, so we’re back in action, completely funemployed and making the most of it exactly 1 year post-buyout.

I decided that a roundup of 5 Things I Learned Being Funemployed This Year would make up for the, oh, 6 month hiatus. Should I give you six things? Okay, six.

1. You Can Get Free Therapy.
Ok, well, not entirely free, like, forever, but honestly – if you appear to be in serious crisis, nice people like social workers have an obligation to help you out even if you can’t pay (or say you can’t pay). And this is, like, really super helpful when you’re funemployed and feeling like you can’t go on another minute ‘cuz you just can’t believe the mess you’ve gotten yourself into/made of your life.

2. Babysitting. Pays. WELL. (aka The Illegal Economy Is Good For You)
If you are living in a big city where there are still asshole bankers taking home multimilliondollar salaries paid for by taxpayers, then there are some multimilliondollar families looking for smart, well-educated, desperate young people to take care of their snot-nosed brats for anywhere from $15-$20 per hour. Some families pay for health insurance and apartments, even if you’re not live-in. I know people making $800 per week with insurance as nannies. It’s a good job, trust me, I’ve done it and I’ve lived to tell the tale. Some of the kids are actually quite nice and relate well to adults. Also, if you’re enjoying the work, it’s quite easy to add value and make yourself indispensable to the family while still having enough time to write your memoir or blog or whatever during playdates.

3. Savings accounts, CD’s and IRA’s are good things. Make them now, while you still have a job.
Seriously. Nothing can replace a rainy-day fund. If you have a job now, I would seriously consider cutting back on Thai takeout in order to put that $20 bucks in an account for the inevitable day you get laid off or fed up and quit your stupid 9-5 (or 8-10 as it may be). You’ll thank me later. This is my Suze Orman moment for the day.

4. Food Stamps and Medicaid Are Good Things, Too.
Ok, so I know a lot of people who went on food stamps and medicaid this year. You have to earn less than $208.00/week (legally) in NYC in order to qualify for Medicaid (I think food stamps require a slightly less destitute form of poverty), but if you can get them, they’re actually quite the money savers AND Medicaid is more comprehensive than many employer-sponsored health insurance plans. Just sayin’.

5. LOST Is The Best Show On TV.
I spent my September 2009 watching Seasons 1-5 and have come to the unequivocal conclusion that yes, LOST is the best show on TV BY FAR.

6. You can sell knitwear online, blog and find a readership, learn to teach and then quit teaching because it really sucks, become a nanny/babysitter and have a part-time marketing job all in one year.
Because that’s what I did, and I have to say that I enjoy my life now more than ever. Yes, even more than high school. Well, maybe not really. But I do have better and more frequent sex now, and that’s got to count for something.